One of the complex institutions in life is a relationship. So many relationships have failed not because it lacks love but compatibility and adequate knowledge was never considered at the beginning.

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There are some things to tolerate but some acts must never be tolerated in a relationship. You can tolerate marrying a lady that snores while sleeping when love is the foundation but you must never tolerate a man who feels it’s normal to beat his partner else they will use her as a case study after she is beaten to death by the same man when they get married.

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There are some things we must do and put into an act for us to have a successful relationship. Kindly follow me through this journey of illumination as the factors are listed

Discover Yourself

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The discovery of oneself is the key to having a successful relationship. Until you discover who you are, you cannot recognize who will be fit as your helpmate. If you never try to discover who you are, anybody will look like a partner to you.

And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of Man. Genesis 2:23 KJV

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I hear stories of young girls who fall for boys that lavish material things on them at the early stage of their relationship then later end up regretting after discovering their true personality. So they end up with this phrase that “all men are the same”.

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If you don’t discover who you are, you will continue falling prey to similar circumstances of a regrettable relationship.

Know What You Want

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Many relationships have failed while some are on the verge of collapsing just because both parties don’t know what they wanted out of the relationship. This is one of the basic confusion in marriages, courtship, or relationship that is still at the stage of dating.

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Can two walk together, except they be agreed? Amos 3:3 KJV

When you don’t know what you want in a relationship nothing will look like it and frustration will never cease. One of the reasons people do cheat in a relationship is either they are not satisfied or they don’t know what they want. So, they kept switching from one relationship to another until they end up with their doom.

Look Beyond The Physical

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My past relationship has always been a failure just because I go for what is acceptable to my sight. Am not saying physical attribute is not good when considering who to marry but it should never be the determining factor.

Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. Proverbs 6:25 KJV

What people go for mostly is the physical attributes such as appearance, which may later lead to a failed relationship after they had discovered the real image behind the mask.

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I want you to know that your true self is not your physical appearance, your true personality is your inner man which comprises your spirit and soul. Your physical body is just a covering to your inner man.

When you determine who to marry just by the physical attributes, then you are going for just the chaff. A woman who rejected a man of vision for a man of television will end up watching the man of vision on her husband’s television.

Mind Your Role

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A successful relationship can be achieved when each partner focuses on minding their gender roles and responsibilities. A man is to love his wife while the wife is to submit to her husband.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:22 KJV

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Ephesians 5:25 KJV

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This aspect of responsibility has always been contention in a relationship. You hear a wife saying she will never submit to her husband until he loves her. Then you see a man acting like a beast to his wife because he feels she is not submissive to him.

Note that submission doesn’t connote slavery, it simply means respect. God never created a woman to be a slave to a man but a helpmate and mate imply the same peers.

When you respect someone, it is easy to obey the person. Men don’t get moved by your love but by your submission to them. When a woman respects a man, the man counts it as love.

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It is a command for a man to love a woman. That is why men are always the first to tell a woman; I love you. It is never wrong for a woman to love and say i love you to a man but the man should be the first to say I love you because men are designed to love.

But the challenge is that each partner always checkmates themselves by minding what should be their partner’s responsibility in the relationship.

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Scripturally, a woman cannot love better than a man while a man cannot submit better than a woman. Therefore, each partner should focus on their role and everything will fall in place.

Conclusion: Relationships don’t just happen, you have to make it work for it to work out. Every successful relationship is anchored on the altar of responsibility. You have to take responsibility for you to achieve and sustain a relationship. Taking such responsibility requires you to discover yourself, knowing what you want, looking beyond the physical, and minding one’s role in a relationship.

I will like to hear your own suggestion regarding having a successful relationship. Feel free to drop your comments. This could be an eye-opener for others before they take the wrong step in a relationship. Thank you.

Jesus is Lord!!!



  1. Informative relationship information with supportive references. Provides some foundation and reference for issues in relationships. Students in high school should review this information because they are starting their first relationship and think they are in love or know what love is from unhealthy examples.

    Liked by 1 person

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