For something to be found, it has to be looked for. It is what you are conscious of that can be called forth. Wishing is waiting and wasting, it takes work to command our desire into reality.

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Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: Matthew 7:7 KJV

Marriage is not a competition but an institution and for you to succeed, it takes deliberate preparation with the help of God. It is not how fast you get married but how far your marriage can stand.

So many peer pressure and social influence have led to choosing the wrong partner. If you can’t wait in other to be right, you will waste in the fight. I want us to note that the underlying prerequisite for finding is seeking. The following steps will help in locating partner in marriage.

Desire a Partner

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What you don’t desire may not be appreciated. Admit your desire for a marriage partner privately and publicly without feeling ashamed or embarrassed.

The fear of the wicked, it shall come upon him: but the desire of the righteous shall be granted. Proverbs 10:24 KJV

Don’t pretend to be unavailable when you do need someone. This aspect of pretending has destroyed a lot of people especially the female gender. They tend to act like they don’t care whereas deep down their heart they are already carrying the child of the guy.

Admitting that you are single and searching doesn’t make you cheap, it is even pretending that makes you cheap because pretending is lying and lying means faking the original and what is not original is cheap.

Locate God’s Word

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When the Bible forms the foundation of your steps, you can be sure of success.

This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. Joshua 1:8 KJV

What you don’t locate cannot be allocated to you. You don’t arrive at a location by luck, you must look, for you to locate.

Everything is already provided for us in the Scripture, all we need to do is to look to locate what is written about us concerning who to marry.


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This aspect is very important in seeking who to marry. So many people never border to pray about who to marry therefore anybody that comes there way looks like the right person then accepted until it’s too late.

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:5 KJV

The most important type of prayer in seeking the right partner is a prayer of enquiries. This is asking God question and waiting for His response. Prayer of enquiry is asking and listening. Until you pray to confirm then you remain the prey.

Give Thanks

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Nothing moves God like giving Him thanks for everything He has done and yet undone. Thanks giving is simply thanking God for a small thing in a big way.

 Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Philippians 4:6

Until you press the send button after typing a text message the receiver will never get it. Thanksgiving is the spiritual send button in other to get it to deliver to God to process your request.

Make yourself good as the type of person you desire

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You have to be considering whether you are in the right condition to be found by another person. If you can’t marry your kind of person then don’t expect someone to marry you.

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:12 KJV

How good you are determine how attractive you become. You cannot be poisonous and expect someone to be attracted to you. If you want to scare an ant away from the sugar, surround the sugar with a poison. Don’t surround the good(sugar) in you with a bad attribute(poison).

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For example; Don’t carry a frowning face and expect someone to come to approach you. Learn to always carry a smiling face along with you. I can be guilty of this aspect because I hardly smile and this makes people see me as an unapproachable personality but thank God for His correction, I am trying my best now. Glory be to God!

Open Your Eyes

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You need to open both your spiritual and physical eye. Your spiritual eye refers to your spirit-man and your physical eye is your visible eye. You need to be very vigilant when looking for who to be your perfect match.

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22 KJV

A friend of mine told me that majority of people pretend when a relationship in view. You get to know their true self after marriage then you start seeking a divorce.

Like the common saying that “Love is blind” this is not true and not scriptural. I say love is not blind, it is the heart that doesn’t mind. God is love, and God is not blind, therefore Love is not blind.

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You will also need to make use of your physical eyes to be able to locate someone you can appreciate, love and walk with for the rest of your days on planet earth.

You must be true to yourself particularly at this stage. God will not come down, hold someone by the hand and come knocking at your door to give you a partner.

Make a Move

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After you have been led by the spirit of God and you discover who your partner should be, go ahead and make it known to the person, but also allow the person time to pray about it too, and be led by God.

That is why you need to seek a spiritual partner and of the same faith to make your confirmation easy. A believer seeking an unbeliever hand in marriage should not expect God to confirm such union; you are on your own, be guided!

Let me call the men attention to this aspect of making move. Some men embarrass ladies with statements like “God told me that you will be my wife,” “I saw you and me in a dream marching to the altar to be joined,” etc. Even if God told you, or you saw the person in a dream, wisdom is needed in presentation.

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As a lady, you can also make a move, not to propose but to let the guy know you liked him and asking for friendship, then the guy can later find interest in you for marriage. It is not also wrong scripturally for a woman to propose but it may not be advisable.

Conclusion: Anyone who is considering marriage is required to take steps in locating a partner. Your steps should start from a desire to seeking Gods word concerning marriage. Then go to God in prayer for a successful search. Seeking a partner must be for marriage. It is improper to speak to someone about going out together when you know that marriage is nowhere near your mind. And let your relationship be defined at the beginning, never give room for assumption in any relationship. Assuming is the lowest level of knowledge and it is a time-waster in any relationship.

Jesus is Lord!!!

Feel free to post your contribution in the comment section. Contact me if you want to talk more. Looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks.


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